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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I stop, toss him a couple of coins, and he gives me a nod. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, I see a group of tourists again, and they’re lost. I can’t help it. I walk over and say, “You guys lookin’ for the beach? It’s that way.” They thank me like I just saved their lives. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just the beach.”

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